I enjoy music. I always have. I have such a varied taste in music that there is very few genres that I am unable to appreciate through several songs. I listen to all the latest music and my children, my daughter especially, is constantly surprised that I am already listening to music that she has only just heard herself or maybe has not yet heard at all. I’m not sure whether to be chuffed or insulted that this is such a shocker for her, but I do neither and just accept that this is the way things are now. I am just no longer young.
A greater tell-tale sign that I am no longer young actually comes from this very music. I can remember when the pop music in the charts would speak to me as an individual – even more than this, I felt that it could have been literally written for my personal circumstances. Throughout my teenage years, the many and varied songs in the charts spoke to me and held my feelings as though the singer was sharing the feeling for my crush, my hurt or my anxiety. No-one else could understand except this song writer.
I no longer have this relationship with chart music. It seems that song writing is perhaps easier for the less complicated problems in life. To write a song about feelings of attraction or nights out partying which can be enjoyed by teenagers all over the country sipping from their cans of cheap cider in their local park, seems fairly straight forward. However, there are not many song writers willing to take on the task of singing songs about the struggles we endeavour in the following years; babies, divorces, partners feeling distant, etc.
These days we do not grow older with grace and I am no exception, but as a late 37 year old I feel I am just no longer young. The types of music enjoyed by those of us who are no longer young is still the vibrant or cheesy tunes we hear in the charts, but it is not this music that will speak to our hearts or that reflects our situations any more; this only comes from seasoned writers of some discernment and particular talent.
I listened recently to the song by Tracey Thorn, “Oh, The Divorces!” The words tell of our experiences of seeing friend’s marriages break apart for various reasons, often the relationships we least expect are those we see suffer this terrible fate. It tells of handing over children at the park swings (my own experience of handing over children at the service station being shared by many due to distances). This speaks to us who are no longer young of a reality which we all live in today, that the chart music does not.
Another great piece of song writing comes from Richard Hawley, “For Your Lover, Give Some Time”. This hears the heart felt cries of someone in a relationship asking for some time to be devoted to their love, their relationship. As is often felt in the latter years of relationships, when the honeymoon period is not only over but well and truly forgotten, love can become distant due to a lack of attention or a partner’s focus being taken elsewhere. This song will tug at the heart strings of anyone who has felt these feelings.
If you have not heard these songs and you a thirty or forty something, then I urge you to give them a listen. I would be interested to hear anybody else’s recommended listening to those of us who are no longer young.
Music can make us realise that we are not alone in the agony or hurt we feel, but that these feelings have been felt by others all over the world; that there is a dawn and a new day. We must work through these feelings to become ever stronger, braver and wiser for the future. Our experiences, after all, are what shape the person we are and will be, so we must not shy away from them but embrace them for what they teach us about life and ourselves.
